I am going to ramble a little here, unlike my usual 'polished' essays. As the Brits say, I am at sixes and sevens. I have no answers, only questions. In the Mexican Prologue I said I didn't know whether to go forward or back. It seems I have been rocking constantly in the six intervening months. One step forward, one step back.
Hindsight, ain't it great? I wish I had put the house on the market 'as is' and be done with it. But the predominance of opinion by those advising me seem to be, remodel--you'll get more money.
Wrong!
Contractor quagmire
The remodeling began. I withdrew the last of my IRA funds, what savings I had left from China, and a withdrawal from a credit card to pay a contractor to remodel the house. To make a long story short, he did not know what he was doing, beyond scamming me. What work he did on the house had to be torn up and redone. He walked away with almost $12,000. I found a new contractor, recommended by my realtor. This contractor said he could do the job in a month, more or less. Three months later, the house is still not ready to go on the market. I reduced the price in order to unload it anyway, but the buyer was coming in with a VA loan. This meant an excruciatingly detailed inspection report. The house failed. The buyer walked away.
I paid the new contractor with borrowed money, assuming the house would sell quickly and I could repay the debt. Wrong!
The debts became due. Turns out, just paying off the monthly bills on these credit cards uses up all my monthly social security pension check. I found myself going to bed hungry. Food money going to pay for the gas and light bill, and servicing the swimming pool. Soon the home insurance payment would be due.
Logically I know that to every problem there is a solution. I found none.
I reached a wall. The only way out is death.
These were my bleak thoughts.
Mexico House
The low cost of finishing the Mexico house, as estimated by our community leader, was for a very basic, primitive home. Maybe okay for periodic meditation retreats, but not for a full retirement life. To finish it as I envision it would take most of what I would garner from the sale of my Florida home. This doesn't make sense, because renting in Mexico is so inexpensive.
I am not putting anymore money into the house, except to brick up openings and repair a broken window so that the house is sealed from the elements. It will sit there, awaiting future developments.
My brother, who himself went through bankruptcy proceedings, urged me not to dismiss this option, but to seek legal counseling.
Using AVVO, I paid $49 for a 15 minute on phone consultation. From that brainstorming session, I came up with a plan.
I will come to terms with the banks, let them know I am not in a position to pay them.
I will apply for food stamps.
I will take the money back from Mexico. It will pay the insurance bill, maybe some of the tax bill when it comes due in November, furnish my house from Salvation Army or whatever, pay arrears for electricity.
I will bite the bullet and pay for a new junction box installed, since the inspection revealed that this one is out of date and no longer acceptable, even to the insurance company should they inspect.
I will continue forward with volunteering at the Pet Resource Center, to give myself some human contact. i will adopt my own dog, to give me a companion at home.
God has a plan
In January when I went to Mexico to buy my car, I was dazed and confused that it did not work out. I kicked myself for not having anticipated the road block that I encountered. I had already converted the dollars to pesos, and didn't want to lose money converting it back again. So I left it there. As I mulled it over, I came to the conclusion that only the future would reveal the true reason why I made that trip.
Now I see it. Had I not left the money in Mexico, surely it would have gone into the bottomless pit of the remodel.
The exchange rate gave me a lot of pesos for my dollar. The exchange rate has changed again, in my favor. It is time to reclaim my dollars.
The best thing of all is that I received a very caring note from my siblings saying that they were in this together with me, with their help we would get through this. I have always been very independent, not wanting them to see me as a freeloader. My path has been very different from theirs, and I think historically that they saw my path as being irresponsible. Externally my life may have appeared to be that of a carefree hippy unbound by societal conventions, unfettered by responsibilities. I think my achievements since those days have demonstrated that that is a misread.
The time has come to accept myself as part of a family unit. It is humbling. Yet I know I have come to the end of my knowledge. In this culture I do not know how to maneuver to get myself out of this situation. I accept whatever help is proffered by my dear sister and brother. They know the lay of the land far better than me. I gladly accept their wisdom and experience.
For now, I will move back into the house, reconnect the utilities (which I canceled when I thought the house had sold), and begin my retirement. I will focus more on my writings, even though I know at my age, no publisher will accept a first book by someone of my age. Though the subject matter may be interesting, I am still a very green writer. Nevertheless, I will get my storied down on 'paper'. This is always how I said I would pass my retirement. Let it be so.
Hindsight, ain't it great? I wish I had put the house on the market 'as is' and be done with it. But the predominance of opinion by those advising me seem to be, remodel--you'll get more money.
Wrong!
Contractor quagmire
The remodeling began. I withdrew the last of my IRA funds, what savings I had left from China, and a withdrawal from a credit card to pay a contractor to remodel the house. To make a long story short, he did not know what he was doing, beyond scamming me. What work he did on the house had to be torn up and redone. He walked away with almost $12,000. I found a new contractor, recommended by my realtor. This contractor said he could do the job in a month, more or less. Three months later, the house is still not ready to go on the market. I reduced the price in order to unload it anyway, but the buyer was coming in with a VA loan. This meant an excruciatingly detailed inspection report. The house failed. The buyer walked away.
I paid the new contractor with borrowed money, assuming the house would sell quickly and I could repay the debt. Wrong!
The debts became due. Turns out, just paying off the monthly bills on these credit cards uses up all my monthly social security pension check. I found myself going to bed hungry. Food money going to pay for the gas and light bill, and servicing the swimming pool. Soon the home insurance payment would be due.
Logically I know that to every problem there is a solution. I found none.
I reached a wall. The only way out is death.
These were my bleak thoughts.
Mexico House
The low cost of finishing the Mexico house, as estimated by our community leader, was for a very basic, primitive home. Maybe okay for periodic meditation retreats, but not for a full retirement life. To finish it as I envision it would take most of what I would garner from the sale of my Florida home. This doesn't make sense, because renting in Mexico is so inexpensive.
I am not putting anymore money into the house, except to brick up openings and repair a broken window so that the house is sealed from the elements. It will sit there, awaiting future developments.
My brother, who himself went through bankruptcy proceedings, urged me not to dismiss this option, but to seek legal counseling.
Using AVVO, I paid $49 for a 15 minute on phone consultation. From that brainstorming session, I came up with a plan.
I will come to terms with the banks, let them know I am not in a position to pay them.
I will apply for food stamps.
I will take the money back from Mexico. It will pay the insurance bill, maybe some of the tax bill when it comes due in November, furnish my house from Salvation Army or whatever, pay arrears for electricity.
I will bite the bullet and pay for a new junction box installed, since the inspection revealed that this one is out of date and no longer acceptable, even to the insurance company should they inspect.
I will continue forward with volunteering at the Pet Resource Center, to give myself some human contact. i will adopt my own dog, to give me a companion at home.
God has a plan
In January when I went to Mexico to buy my car, I was dazed and confused that it did not work out. I kicked myself for not having anticipated the road block that I encountered. I had already converted the dollars to pesos, and didn't want to lose money converting it back again. So I left it there. As I mulled it over, I came to the conclusion that only the future would reveal the true reason why I made that trip.
Now I see it. Had I not left the money in Mexico, surely it would have gone into the bottomless pit of the remodel.
The exchange rate gave me a lot of pesos for my dollar. The exchange rate has changed again, in my favor. It is time to reclaim my dollars.
The best thing of all is that I received a very caring note from my siblings saying that they were in this together with me, with their help we would get through this. I have always been very independent, not wanting them to see me as a freeloader. My path has been very different from theirs, and I think historically that they saw my path as being irresponsible. Externally my life may have appeared to be that of a carefree hippy unbound by societal conventions, unfettered by responsibilities. I think my achievements since those days have demonstrated that that is a misread.
The time has come to accept myself as part of a family unit. It is humbling. Yet I know I have come to the end of my knowledge. In this culture I do not know how to maneuver to get myself out of this situation. I accept whatever help is proffered by my dear sister and brother. They know the lay of the land far better than me. I gladly accept their wisdom and experience.
For now, I will move back into the house, reconnect the utilities (which I canceled when I thought the house had sold), and begin my retirement. I will focus more on my writings, even though I know at my age, no publisher will accept a first book by someone of my age. Though the subject matter may be interesting, I am still a very green writer. Nevertheless, I will get my storied down on 'paper'. This is always how I said I would pass my retirement. Let it be so.
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