Let go and let Light

 

Hello friend.  Yes, I mean you, since you are the only one reading this.

I have made a somewhat disturbing observation.  I mean, once I see it I cannot unsee it, so it is not disturbing to the in-the-present me, but it rather sets on its head my long-held beliefs.

Christianity is inside-out from itself and its goals.

As Christians, we are taught to guard our hears closely.  We are taught to protect ourselves against outside influences that might be evil.  We are taught that guilt is a good thing, as it points us to repent; except for when, for various reasons, repenting cannot undo the ‘evil’ that is at the base of our guilt.

True spirituality, really being in touch with ‘God’, that sweet pure oneness that we recognize in rare moments (or perhaps for the properly trained Catholics, each time we hold the communion host in us), is at its core quite the opposite of all that.

We are composed of energy.  By now, our culture contains in common knowledge the construction of the atom.  We know that we are composed of atoms.  If we pursue that thought all the way to its natural conclusion, we realize that our bodies are composed of a huge pile (neatly and purposefully organized) of spinning units of energy.  Our ‘solid’ bodies are an illusion.  We are, at our core, energy.

Meditation, also, has entered our common cultural consciousness.  I am old now, and I cannot remember, among my earliest memories, my parents or neighbors talking about meditation.  Now the word might easily arise in our everyday conversations.

Why do people meditate?  In my youth, prayer was the means to arrive at the same end as meditation, although more restricted towards Christian goals, and more commonly comprised of memorized prayer.  Some might have encouraged us to ‘talk to God’, but we received little instruction on how to do that, so we fell back upon our rote prayers.  We didn’t understand, then, how by letting the mind relax into a swirl of memorized sounds, there was some other aspect of mind that might be released to connect with a higher reality found in non thinking, or letting go.

In letting go, we release the filters that normally confine and redirect our core energy.  Once released, the light released in that energy connects us to our true selves.  We become light.  Those moments of light-power, released, bring us enormous benefits. 

We all have within us the desire to connect with God.  For some, that desire has been extinguished by dashed hopes.  In my association with Christians, especially the Holy Rollers, also called Pentecostalists, I was implanted with the illusion that I was battling with The Enemy, who wanted to separate me from God.  For many, this was an external force.  “Get thee hence, Satan.”

I am not saying that evil does not exist in the world.  Negative energy exists.  But that is not my nemesis. 

When I experience the sweet presence of ‘God’, in that space evil does not exist.  Light and darkness cannot exist in the same space.  So then, all we have to do is live in the Light, right?  Oh, such sweet words, so facile to speak.

At birth we begin to forget our connection to the Light.  The transition from our life in spirit form to life in this crude clay mold is traumatic.  Some arrive so full of that light energy that it takes longer for them to forget.  But by around age three, we have all forgotten where we came from.  The combination of our emotions and the discomforts and pains of the physical body have all combined to create a new entity; the personality.  Our soft clay begins to toughen up, develop scars, and create a unique tough shell.  Like any bit of rock that breaks off from a mountain and falls into a stream, the constant friction of our unique journey through the water as it flows to the ocean reshapes us. 

Wait, what are we?  Soft clay, or hard rock?  Geologists tell us, at its earliest creation all the earth was molten rock.  As we pass from lifetime to lifetime, we pick up bits and pieces that cling to us, represented by the hard corners and embedded bits in that broken-off piece of the mountain rock.

You may have heard the following description of us souls.  It is universally found across beliefs, so there most likely is validity to it.  Imagine that God is one great beam of light, like the sun.  Now imagine a dome over the earth, a great mosaic of multi-colored cut glass.  Or, see a prism.  My spirit originates with that one source of light, but as it is filtered through a pane of that mosaic, it absorbs unique traits all of its own.

All of humanity has but one Source.  We come imbued with our own unique characteristic pigment. Ultimately, we want to get back to that Source, which contains all pigments, because it is the most beautiful, with infinite qualities.  If we speak of colors, as in stained glass, then we see white as containing all colors, radiating out, making all things visible.   Black absorbs all pigments to itself, unable to reflect colors back into the light.

Where is the bucket of black paint that is intent on coating our beautifully pigmented glass, obscuring the light?

We find that in emotions.  The Bible tells us about the Seven Deadly Sins.  What are these if not emotions.

As we learn to quiet our minds and allow, unfiltered, that pure light to flow through us, what feeling remains? 

Joy.

We have expressions to approximate joy.  The Balm of Gilead, for Old Testament readers.  A sweetness flowing from our crown down to the core of our being.  Peace.  Warmth.  Release from fear, anxiety, worry.  Maybe we can hold that but for a moment.  Once felt, we have begun a journey from darkness to light.

Whether we get there through partaking of Communion, or saying the Rosary, or repeating other ritualized prayers, the end result is the same.  If we focus on learning to meditate, and find it difficult to maintain the concentration, every effort uncovers a little more light.  Once we do find that light, that inner peace in our ritual meditations, we have set our feet firmly on the path.  Young souls may find it a struggle, that struggle may be off-putting.  The truth is, it all counts, it all adds up; a stroke of light that cancels out a bit of darkness.

Our goal is to live in the light, 24/7.  That journey may be a short one, or a long one.  In truth, the Light we find in one life can carry over to another.  The filters are thinner or thicker, depending on what went before. 

What does it mean, to live in the light? 

This is where, as I see it, Christianity is turned upon its head.

Different organized religions may be closer or further from this truth.  However, modern society has its roots in distortions of Christianity

We all share the Golden Rule, Do unto others as we would have them do unto us.  But overlayed are other factors that keep us from realizing that dictum; The Seven Deadly Sins

Who among us is free of envy, greed, lust, pride, gluttony, anger, sloth.  We struggle to contain these impulses, to eliminate them from our lives, each of us according to his own inherent qualities. 

We pride ourselves in saying, “I never lose my temper.”

I have my sexual desires and ambitions under control; I do not lust.  But what of that twinge in the belly when we see our child’s classmate receive a recognition that we feel our child deserves?

I am responsible, I take care of my obligations.  But what of that phone call that we put off, to a friend or relative who is going through hard times?  Or that room that I know needs painting, I bought the paint and brushes already, months ago?

No matter how hard we try, we will never achieve life by the Golden Rule.  Rules are a product of duality.  Good, bad.  Do, Don’t do.  Virtue, vice.

If you can open your heart, to absorb all that is written here, your life can change in a moment.  That is unlikely to happen.  It sounds so easy, yet so unattainable.

If we were all gathered in a lecture hall, and we all quieted our minds and focused on whatever light shines through our filters, it is theoretically possible that your life could change in that moment.  The one thing these words don’t contain is Energy.  I remember the first time I met His Holiness the Dalai Lama.  I was in a line awaiting his blessing, standing in his driveway, inching myself closer to him.  Once in his presence, I felt a great peace, and a rainbow of Energy. This is the Energy that mere words lack, that these words cannot convey.

Way back in the day, before I began my first odyssey, I was in LA fascinated with Zen Buddhism.  I would go to the Temple to sit zazen.  I tried to capture this meditation thing.  I puzzled over the Koans (what is the sound of one hand clapping).  I tried and tried.  My mind never stayed quiet for very long. 

I arrived in Israel, after waiting for the ferry three days in a youth hostel in Greece.  I met a girl there in the bunk across from mine.  We got along.  We got through the ferry ride sleeping on the deck.  We Landed in Haifa, and said our goodbyes.  She had a destination in mind.  Mine was still vague; I only knew I wanted to live on a kibbutz, but had no idea how to get there.  I spent some days in Jerusalem, the root of it all.  It was Christmas time; a trip to Bethlehem, perhaps.  The Eve arrived.  I was in a hostel with random people.  With a nod to O. Henry, we all brought something to share, from our wanderings in the lanes.  It was magical.

I honestly cannot remember the details of how I ended up as a volunteer on one Kibbutz rather than another.  When I arrived at Kibbutz Gat, near Ashdod, I was greeted joyously by this same hostel and ferry companion.  Once again, we were bunk mates.  I observed that she left at dawn each day, and returned for breakfast.  I asked her about that.  She said she would go to the edge of a field, and meditate at dawn.  A discussion ensued, mentioning my failed attempts.  This is where the magic happened.  We sat cross-legged on the wooden floor of our volunteer-housing, knees to knees.  She did not try to ‘instruct’ me.  We just meditated.  And for the first time, I felt a peace and joy flow over me.  The flame was ignited. 

In my experience, words alone are not enough.  Some souls who arrived with fewer filters than mine may contradict me on that.  For me, at the beginner stage and at a higher stage as well, I needed that live transmission.

We are meant to live in a state of joy.  We can never eliminate the basics of, as the Zen Masters say, wash your rice bowl. 

“I have just entered the monastery.  Please teach me.”

Joshu asked, “Have you eaten your rice porridge?”

“I have eaten”

“Then you had better wash your bowl.”

At that moment, the monk was enlightened.

Quoted from Mumonkan

 

Not necessary to anticipate the next lesson, nor the next meal.  It will all unfold.  We need only focus on the task at hand.  Or as Matthew [6:28-29] describes in the New Testament, the flowers don’t stress out; their beauty comes naturally.  And the birds, too.  They don’t have to plant to get all those seeds they eat.  You cannot read these too literally.  How I realize it, I no longer have to write lists before going to the grocery store.  I check my kitchen, see what I need, and go.  While I am in the grocery store, my basket fills with what I need.  In the mornings, I meditate.  I ask, what needs doing today?  Maybe I add, how may I be a blessing?  Those divinely ordained serendipities unfold.

In the Old Testament, Psalm 50, we see that when we walk in the Spirit, we lack for nothing.  The beasts of the forest, the cattle upon a thousand hills, the fowls of the mountains, the wild beasts of the fields, all the world is mine.  My hunger is satisfied, if I live in the Spirit, because I lack for nothing.

In this decade, 2024 – 2034, the opposite seems true to the naked eye.  We are in financially hard times.  To many, the roof seems to be caving in.  What used to be simple is now made so complicated.   I still broke my hip, I still walk with pain until, in due time, it is healed.  But despite my near empty bank account, the doctor and hospital bills will be paid.  I look at the blessings ensuing within my struggle.  I see people being extra nice to me, when before I was invisible.  I see a need to slow down, which offers me, if I choose to accept, extra down time to simply sit in joy and reflect.  And as I said above, the light accumulates.  Every minute I spend in joy strengthens my ability to return to it effortlessly.  More layers of darkness, more filters, are cleansed away, removed.  It is a process.  As we focus more on hope, and less on worrying, struggling, fearing, our joy increases.  Our bounty is uncovered.

Instead of being independent, self-contained, in control, now I see that happiness lies in coming to oneness with my core energy, uniting with the joy and bliss I find there, and letting go of all my musts, and I’d betters, and shoulds.  I cannot look outside and see if the world is conforming to my concepts of it.  I let that go, and let joy and love be my only filter, instead of that pompous judge.  On this we agree:  Giving is better than receiving.